how to kill worry?

Had murdering worry/anxiety been a crime,i for one would should sure not be a criminal! i guess that spell everything i am about to write further. Am a creature of worry.Literally! like astrologers can see one's birth charts and tell which sign one belongs to, any ordinary person(without astro skills)can say am born under,live with and breathe worry. what i realize is that am not the only person in this category.

lets get to how i realized this..one fine day at work a friend of mine walked up to me and asked"Everything ok?" One could expect that maybe i was looking worried, well even i thought the same and said"yes, why do you ask?" and was promptly answered" you don't LOOK worried today!"

with this incident i try to look normal.(but what is a normal look to me is worried or confused look for every1 else.) I tried to read a very intresting book "How to stop worrying and start living"(oh yeah!i got to the point of worrying that 'OMG!!am i nuts enough to need this!!!') but what i actually did learn is the i do not worry because of what i have on hand.i worry about what i might have/ not have which is very futile. which brings me to a saying my dear sane mother keeps quoting 'CROSS THE BRIDGE WHEN IT COME'(well that is my mother) and when i hear it, my brain retorts(WHAT IF IT ISN'T THERE WHEN I REACH IT' ( Alas! thats me)..
happy worrying...oh sorry(old habits do die hard)
happy evening :)

commonly clueless

Even with the ever evolving medical science,my grandfather aptly says"there is no exact cause or cure for headache and cold".Am a generous host for my parasite guests.with the onset of a new season my guests(the cold parasite)claims and clamours for my hospitality with full force and hang on with all their might till the next season(a good 2 months at the least).meanwhile they don't sit idle,there is a horde of activity going on within me.

lets compare it to a film's end to end activity.the main parasite chooses a location,feels at home produces its effect(makes one ill),starts distributing itself around then flops off.like a movie's location,plot,action(one falling ill),production and distribution(everyone around catching the cold).i wonder if these germs have song shoots and dancing around blood vessels and stuff like that,what would they sing..main hun DON!!hehahaha(gabbar-samba style laugh)

that reminds me,my sister tells me that corporate entities these days have central air conditioning.so what would it be like if i catch a cold(a common occurrence) and end up at work??RESIDENT EVIL part whatever??

well,getting back to my guests,after getting everyone around me ill,i feel like kicking them tom and jerry style when i remember a friend's t-shirt with a quote"germs have feeling too" and end up just taking an antibiotic(one that never works effectively).this eventually brings me back to my grandpa's "no cause or cure for common cold"..signing off without a clue as to why did i catch the cold in the first place.:(

p.s:dear cold parasite(the one with feeling),please find another host!!!!

p.p.s:written in frustration,no hard feelings:P

dear love

dear love,

i believe every1 falls in love at a certain point in life.like life's varied stages even love passes through many turns,matures and eventually blossoms.come to think of it its more like a delicate creeper,one that grows depending upon the strength of the substance that holds n supports it to grow.slowly growing roots and displaying a beautiful personality of it own..as it grows further and nourishes itself it displays the strength not only to support itself but also to exhibit its best to the world.to me,love is like the creeper,the younger it starts,more delicate it is.supported by dreams,aspiration and imagination.as i grow and acknowledge the person i am,i have the strength to support my dreams and aspirations.but at the same time i learn to sift through these emotions to find what love actually is.as i mature as a person the meaning of true love takes roots and i grow the courage to say no to any kind of compromise for love.and as i stand today,i feel prouder to have learnt to have said no to save some good friendships.to me dear love,you are like a part of a big puzzle and not the puzzle itself(unlike what i had once thought).though life can be lived without your presence,its undeniably better to have you in my life.and by love i dont want to limit you by giving a name of a relation...i find you everywhere,in my family,through my friends,through my critics,even in people i dont have any relation with and even pets...i hope to find better ways to express you and to give you to people who deserve it..

my debt to a kabuthar( pigeon)

i remember all those old stories in which one reads about pigeons,which were our ancient postal system..the kings used them,the warriors,the heers and ranjhas of those times so on and so forth and then our bollywood played an important role in reminding us of them....well all these flashes of introduction are for a simple reason...my elder sister and I wanted to relive this ancient..well it was a novel experience for me as i had written letters so far in 3 languages only for marks in school and that never was as exciting as this one...especially because i never had to stick a stamp on the envelope and drop it in the post box.

as for the experience for waiting for a letter(one which never reached)was also very rel.in short annoying.my sister called to tell that maybe her postman dint understand my handwriting,which is strange as i had received her letter which bore her handwriting

(which is akin to a pigeons's).she also introduced me to a new variety of speed post."stick a stamp of smaller denomination"she said.i wonder if the postman is a direct descendant of pigeon or if he were a pigeon in his last life,because for all i know the "speed post" i sent might also be lost if he cant read neat handwriting.i wish he has a course from a pigeon to know how to read envelopes and would be my debt to my kabuthar.

my eternal love..

As i grew up in this Bollywood crazy country,i soaked some of my ambiance..where one sees or rather hears cliché dialogs of main tumhare liye chand thod launga..(literally..ill break the moon for you..)everyday,which sounds silly but Juliet still fell for the road romeo for these dialogs.oh even i occasionally believe in werewolves on full moons,friendly vampires,knights in shining armors and unicorns...but presently as i grow up,these knights in armors are turning to be vampires(only less charming than edward cullen)...as one tries to convey his/her thoughts of this so called love across to their beloved,i see this effect of Bollywood in their lives... it brings back the fond memories of those iron particles going hey-wire due to the effect of a magnet(thier near future)and of the old man in the salon giving his customer a center shock hairstyle(their mental condition after the gloss fades away,like toms love for jerry)....i believe that a day will come when opposites will repel and likes will attract,so unlike my magnet's nature,and i wish to its reaction....

i vividly remember jai(imran khan) telling simran(sonam kapoor)"yeh sab tumhare un stupid filmon k wajah se hua hai"(all this has happened because of your stupid films) and i so agree with the title"i hate love stories"(when its meaningless)

eppo kallambarengo?(when are u leaving?)

one simple journey started when my aunt and i wanted to visit another aunt of mine in Bangaluru.the day being the day the country's most awaited and hyped verdict was to be given,the Ayodhya verdict to be precise.the sensational hype created by the nation by giving early leaves to all working bodies to avoid any kind of violence was amazing.

everyone at my place was glued to the television anticipating the verdict.the chatter by the reporter being echoed by my grandpa...eppo kallambarengo?!you will be in trouble if you delay your departure......

my frantic aunt from bangaluru calling to inquire...are you coming?eppo kallambarengo?

my parents getting tensed by the moment...meanwhile 'iron leg'(my nick name which has nothing to do with my leg more of my luck of always reaching late during a journey)was packing few snacks in anticipation of the combined effect of my luck and the verdict's after effect.

though with all the hype we were blessed to have got empty busses on time(those who have travelled with luggage on the rush hour buses would agree) and reached the station early enough to see all the passengers of our train with ample time to spare to check out the whole station.

with nothing to do my aunt and i chat and slowly board our train.our bay mainly consisting of ladies,we chit chat about all thing including the 'verdict' and time flew.ironically we reached out destination on the dot.andf life seemed better if not normal.

a coolie haggling with all his worth and an old couple not giving an inch,famalies reaching out to each other,enthusiastic friends calling each other,the auto wallahs nagging elli hogidhira..auto beka...life seemed normal..as good as any other day and there i pause for a second and wished to ask all the sensation creating news channels who try to provoke a peaceful nation "EPPO KALLAMBARENGO?"

amendment??over what?

An amendment they call it….why this big word has little importance in our country is beyond me. When I read the papers that splash this amendment all over the paper but have a nagging doubt if it will ever see some daylight! This amendment that has made an appearance after decades of struggle from the activists fighting for a safe future for our womankind, will it really get effective support?

Amateur is what I call myself in this arena. I believe every girl everywhere must have gone through a kind of harassment somewhere at some point of time,what she does or how she deals with it might be different.what was her fault i ask myself.was it that she was born a girl to begin with?or is it the a handful of males can't accept her as part of the so called their “domain”. Though this change is welcome, it still belittles the trauma faced by the victim to a mere punishment of small fines and leniency on part of the police force.

The government expects a woman to voice out when she is harassed sexually or abused in any manner. How it asks of it so blatantly is hard to understand. Especially when a few shameless police officials are part of this crime? How does a person expect a sound response when he has stifled it with so much ease? Would it feel akin to being choked and asked to speak just after releasing the grip?

In all the emotional tangles she faces that are a mixture of shame, humiliation, helplessness, anger and frustration,this may seem like a small ray of light after a turbulent dark night.what the government fails to notice is that if this amendment has taken 3 decades to take some hazy form,how long would it be effectively implemented to erase the crimes in the sector which are running in 5 digit scales already?

is this consideration, an elusion or just an illusion?