Bewildered

this diwali has been an emotional turmoil.these past days i was wondering what do i write about?but now concluded on puting forth my thoughts in this blog.has anyone felt like they were in a cross road where they were captured in the center of it?where they were locked or bound in a human circle of expectations exactly opposite to atleast one person in the same circle?have there been such moments where the whole world had gone in a blur because of your own conflicting mind or fickle emotions?have there been times where one's happiness seems to a heartbreak to another??can it be so that what's good for us actually hurts us the most?can it be that whats right for others is wrong to me and whats right for me is wrong to others?in all these questions and no answers to seek,is it a crime to follow our heart?to break myself free from this complicatedly linked emotional prison am bound to break a few links considering its good for them,but is it really?i had thought that everything does'nt last,still think so,am i wrong?while my life was a beautiful tapestry with spools of threads thrown in due to the presense of a few people its heartbreaking to pull a few out and leave an unfinished picture....an unfinished picture called experience which fills itself again with threads of courage which turns out to be a distinct picture of life...a courage which lends the strength to move on no matter what awaits you at the end of the dark tunnel.as light follows darkness in myths...i hope this light fills in the life of people who have moved ahead or are left behind....i wish this diwali their life's loose threads get tied up and gives them an oppertunity to seek their happiness......i also wish i could gift a little happiness to them too..

A walk to remember.

Dont mistake this post to be about the book or the film by this name.This is about just an ordinary walk which keeps giving me the feeling of deja vu.On a cold rainy night as I walk back home from my bus stop there are lot of things happening in and around me.I curse the moist weather for being so since two days.On my way the road seems deserted and a bit creepy.The only few people seen are huddled near the chat walah.The aroma of the spicy dishes beckons me but Imove on.The clicking of my watch coincides with my heartbeat.As I walk through gusts of wind I feel chilled to the bone and yearn to reach home as soon as possible.Eventhough the road seems never ending I have no choice to move on and fantasize of seeing my house walking to pick me up from the busstop just to be brought out of it from my dream by a little girl smiling and enjoying the rain.I search through myself to find enough enthusiasm to return her smile with adequate radiance to keep her happy and walk on having a trace of that smile left on my lips.Am jarred by two ruffians who speed past leering and commenting in a vile language.Relief courses through me to see them gone only to find them coming back.I tremble with terror and rage in equal proportions while am ready to dart or screech am left weak kneed to see them just go by.Collecting myself and recollecting these things I nearly jog home to be calmed to a small extent by the beauty of the moonlit sky..
happy to be home atlast I am not sure as to how do I look to an outsider but don a smile and a stance of confidence where as within am ready to faint..still not sure as to why is it so.Stepping into my abode of safety,security and warm welcomes I see a subtle fear lurking in the eyes of my parents,a reason which strengthens my act of normalcy(a small price to pay for a wish of independence).Wishing to remember all the good memories on my walk,I try to deliberately erase the vile ones to move on in life!!well it was a walk to remember..